Bigmouth Strikes Again! Kent Alan Ryan lands self in a pickle after failing to file law suit against ex-mate Alex Earnshaw

Este es un sitio web satírico. No lo tomes en serio. Es una broma.

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Kent Alan Ryan's threats of taking legal action against the artist, Alexander Earnshaw, have fallen flat after failing to provide solid evidence of any signed contract proving 'official' collaboration. While Earnshaw confirmed the two have "knocked noggings on creative pursuits", the tattooist claimed he'd "never signed a single piece of paper Kent might have bestowed" upon him as their collaborations were "purely the product of being mates" rather than "dependent on a soul-binding legal statement". Earnshaw even downplayed Ryan's fear for his own wellbeing (suspecting the artist would resort to violence), claiming his philosophical ideology was one based on "radical compassion" and the initial "joke" should have been "considered in context of the public eye [...] Kent's spouted worser vitriolic shite in the boy's bathroom."

Nevertheless, Earnshaw apologised for "causing any distress to people... actually hurt by it" but made sure to disclaim the "apology didn't extend to Kent Alan Ryan."

When asked about the projects Ryan was attributing "contractual responsibilities" to, Earnshaw detailed one in which an LP consisting of Earnshaw's own written and performed material was made in a single night. He detailed "it was just one of them post-party deals at some other company to Kent's when everyone's drank a bit too much and any idea seems like a good idea" but then concluded "the album never saw the light of day 'cause I would only put the thing out if it was a free download and sold on a couple hundred vinyl". Earnshaw then designated Ryan's only contribution to the album as "minimal" in providing a beat for one track, as well as remixed versions which had been sent via email throughout the following month in "an effort to sway me over to a more 'profitable outcome for the both of us'" (Alex stated while using his middle and index finger to itch his chin).

He described the sound as a "cross between Jeff Buckley and Massive Attack aka. the kind of shit Kent would shove in the bin if I recommended it to him", then admitting "I used to think he was proper innovative, especially with Let Love Out but when I got talking with some floaters around the studio, they said that anything at all amazing about the music was from the artists rather than the producer -- who just wanted to make sure there was enough euphemism for the girls to get their tits out to and slide it under the 'art' category rather than 'exploitation'."

Do you think you were exploited for the cover?

"Nah, that was all consensual, wasn't pressured into it at all. Don't really think it's the same as a woman being all... filthy gorgeous for show." His grin is a little cheeky.

With this point, we asked his opinion on Ryan's offhanded comment on Earnshaw's fiancee being a "wh*re", he was baffled by the insult as "Molly didn't show me that" and asked to see the full article in question. Earnshaw proceeded to stare at the piece for five minutes, frowning as a palpable chill filled the studio room. He bolted up, charged for the door and muttered how "that f*****g c**t had a real reason to fear for his life now". We attempted to get back in contact with Alex after he'd left but were met with nothing but radio silence.

Este es un sitio web satírico. No lo tomes en serio. Es una broma.

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